missionary in africa

In 1985 Clarence Duncan arrived in Africa as missionary to the solidly Muslim people called the Yao who live mainly in Tanzania, Mozambique, and Malawi. When he settled in his village, he called for a meeting with the elders. After the pleasantries the chief asked him his name. Clarence replied, "Mr. Clarence."
The council looked at each other for a moment and then the chief asked, "Why are you here?"
Again Clarence simply said, "I want to tell your people about Isa Al Mahsi (Jesus the Messiah)."
A couple months later, when the chief decided he could trust Clarence, he said, "Do you know why we allowed you to stay?"
Clarence said, "I never thought about it."
"Twenty-one years ago a very old Yao man came to our village and called for a meeting as you did. When we asked him his name, this Yao man said, 'Mr. Clarence'—which isn't an African name at all! When we asked him why he came, he said, 'I want to tell your people about Isa Al Mahsi.' These were your very words. Twenty-one years ago Mr. Clarence led four of our villagers to follow Jesus. So we ran them out of the village. And we killed Mr. Clarence. The reason we allowed you to stay was we were afraid."
That was 1985. Two years ago on a January morning 24 Muslim elders approached Clarence Duncan's house. After a meal the leader sat in the middle of the room and said that they had come to ask questions about Christianity. Clarence said fine but that he would only answer them by reading from the Bible so they would know he did not invent the answers. So he gave each of them a Bible in the trade language. The first question was, "Why do you Christians say that there are three gods?"
Clarence said the answer was found in Deuteronomy 6:4 and gave them the page: "Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God. The Lord is one!" And he mentioned that Isa (Jesus) said this very thing in Mark 12:29.
The questioning went on till five in the afternoon. When all had left, the leader, Sheik Abu Bakr, stayed and asked if he could see Clarence in a week.
When they met Abu asked if Clarence knew why they came to see him last week. Clarence said he assumed it was to ask questions. But Abu said, "No, it was because the Christian church is growing so fast we knew we had to kill you. We had consulted for three days and prepared our magic. You were to be struck dumb when we asked questions, then fall on the ground paralyzed and then die. But when you kept talking, and even stood up and moved around, we knew you had a stronger Spirit and gave up."
Then Abu said, "I want to become a Christian." And he told an amazing story.
"When I was a teenager, in our village we were not Muslim people and we were not Christian. We were Achewa people with our own religion. Behind our village was a hill where I would often go to pray.
"One day I was on that hill praying. Suddenly all around me was a blinding light. Out of this light I saw a big hand coming toward me holding an open book. I looked at the book and saw writing on the page. A Voice told me to read. I protested that I could not read, never having been to school. The Voice again told me to read. So I did. And suddenly the book and the hand disappeared.
"I ran back to my village and all the people were looking for me, thinking I had died on that hill! They asked about a fire they had seen up there. When I told them the story, they laughed at me saying, You can't read!
"Someone got a book and I began to read! Then people came from all around to find out more about what happened and asked questions. The Muslim authorities found out about me and I was trained in the ways of Islam. Soon all or our village became Muslim. For 15 years I was the greatest debater against the Christians."
He paused and then said, "You remember when I asked you the first question about why Christians believe in three gods? Your answer was Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 4."
"That's right," Clarence said.
Sheik Abu Bakr looked Clarence Duncan in the eye and said, "That was the same passage that this Voice on the mountain showed me. At that moment I knew that the God you were talking about was the True God!"
"Then why did you keep asking me all those questions the whole day?"
"Because," he smiled, "I wanted all these Muslim leaders to know what the Christians believe and I wanted them to hear it from you. The whole day I pretended unbelief so that I could ask more questions. Now I want to become a Christian."

"There is nothing that makes us love a person so much as praying for him." - William Law
I picked up my phone only to hear a defeated voice on the other line. It was my dear friend Lyndsey. " Caroline- I just dont know what to do anymore- she just steals and does drugs and now she is in jail for meth." At this point I really didnt have any words of wisdom for my friend- I had never been in her situation..."just keep on loving her and pray" were the only words it seemed i could come up with. "Well I am going to go pick her up in a few days so hopefully she will have time to reflect on her life."
As I hung up the phone I thought about Lyndsey's own story. Although she had never made any trips to jail, she had had her fun with drugs before. But then everything changed.
I remember the first time she described to me the moment in which she was saved. "I prayed and was overcome with this amazing feeling- my eyes were opened up and I saw everything in a completely new light" and it was in that moment she found freedom.

About a week later Lyndsey called me again. "caroline I picked up my friend and you will never guess what happened..." She continued to explain to me that something profound had happened to her while she was in jail. It was if she had come alive and in a way i guess she had. After years and years of trying to get her friend to read her bible for some reason a passion inside her was
ignited and she couldnt keep her hands off the pages of this book she had before perceived to be so boring. As Lyndsey's friend handed her back her bible Lyndsey noticed little notes her friend had taken on verses she had read. Lyndsey was flabbergasted. What had happened to her?

As Lyndsey was leaving with her friend she informed her that while she was in jail one of their close friends had died. Her friend turned to her and replied "but he didnt know...he didnt know! Her friend motioned to her bible..".no one told him!" Lyndsey he needed it!
What had gotten into her? God. It was if she had been intoxicated with him and couldnt rest until everyone around her knew. A few days ago she was a cold hard girl who lived only for meth- but now she had been so transformed by God's love that the thought of not getting to share it with her friend was devastating. But how God had saved her.She had been in her own hell and had experienced sweet salvation from that which had- oh so enslaved her.
Salvation is amazing.
How mind boggling. To be completely transformed and yet to still be the same you. How I wish everyone would desire it. God how I pray that everyone searching for truth would find You- that their eyes would be opened.
"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." romans 10:9-11

atheists and their fathers

Atheists and Their Fathers


Written by Kerby Anderson
Introduction
How does one become an atheist? Does a person's relationship with his earthly father affect his relationship with his heavenly Father? These are some of the questions we will explore in this article as we talk about the book Faith of the Fatherless by Paul Vitz.
Vitz is a psychologist who was an atheist himself until his late thirties. He began to wonder if psychology played a role in one's belief about God. After all, secular psychologists have been saying that a belief in God is really nothing more than infantile wish fulfillment. Dr. Vitz wondered if the shoe was on the other foot. Could it be that atheists are engaged in unconscious wish fulfillment?
After studying the lives of more than a dozen of the world's most influential atheists, Dr. Vitz discovered that they all had one thing in common: defective relationships with their fathers. The relationship was defective because the father was either dead, abusive, weak, or had abandoned the children. When he studied the lives of influential theists during those same historical time periods, he found they enjoyed a strong, loving relationship with a father (or a father substitute if the father was dead).
For example, Friedrich Nietzche lost his father (who was a pastor) before his fifth birthday. One biographer wrote that Nietzche was "passionately attached to his father, and the shock of losing him was profound." Dr. Vitz writes that Nietzche had a "strong, intellectually macho reaction against a dead, very Christian father." Friedrich Nietzche is best known as the philosopher who said, "God is dead." It certainly seems possible that his rejection of God and Christianity was a "rejection of the weakness of his father."
Contrast Nietzche with the life of Blaise Pascal. This famous mathematician and religious writer lived at a time in Paris when there was considerable skepticism about religion. He nevertheless wrote Les pensées (Thoughts), a powerful and imaginative defense of Christianity, which also attacked skepticism. Pascal's father, Etienne, was a wealthy judge and also an able mathematician. He was known as a good man with religious convictions. Pascal's mother died when he was three, so his father gave up his law practice and home-schooled Blaise and his sisters.
Here we are going to look at the correlation between our relationship with our earthly father and our heavenly Father. No matter what our family background, we are still responsible for the choices we make. Growing up in an unloving home does not excuse us from rejecting God, but it does explain why some people reject God. There may be a psychological component to their commitment to atheism.
Nietzche and Freud
Friedrich Nietzche is a philosopher who has influenced everyone from Adolph Hitler to the Columbine killers. His father was a Lutheran pastor who died of a brain disease before Nietzche's fifth birthday. He often spoke positively of his father and said his death was a great loss, which he never forgot. One biographer wrote that Nietzche was "passionately attached to his father, and the shock of losing him was profound."
It seems he associated the general weakness and sickness of his father with his father's Christianity. Nietzche's major criticism of Christianity was that it suffers from an absence, even a rejection, of "life force." The God Nietzche chose was Dionysius, a strong pagan expression of life force. It certainly seems possible that his rejection of God and Christianity was a "rejection of the weakness of his father."
Nietzche's own philosophy placed an emphasis on the "superman" along with a denigration of women. Yet his own search for masculinity was undermined by the domination of his childhood by his mother and female relatives in a Christian household. Dr. Vitz says, "It is not surprising, then, that for Nietzche Christian morality was something for women." He concludes that Nietzche had a "strong, intellectually macho reaction against a dead, very Christian father who was loved and admired but perceived as sickly and weak."
Sigmund Freud despised his Jewish father, who was a weak man unable to support his family. Freud later wrote in two letters that his father was a sexual pervert, and that the children suffered as a result. Dr. Vitz believes that Freud's Oedipus Complex (which placed hatred of the father at the center of his psychology) was an expression of "his strong unconscious hostility to and rejection of his own father." His father was involved in a form of reformed Judaism but was also a weak, passive man with sexual perversions. Freud's rejection of God and Judaism seems connected to his rejection of his father.
Both Nietzche and Freud demonstrate the relationship between our attitudes toward our earthly father and our heavenly Father. In both cases, there seems to be a psychological component to their commitment to atheism.
Russell and Hume
Bertrand Russell was one of the most famous atheists of the last century. Both of Russell's parents lived on the margin of radical politics. His father died when Bertrand Russell was four years old, and his mother died two years earlier. He was subsequently cared for by his rigidly puritanical grandmother, who was known as "Deadly Nightshade." She was by birth a Scottish Presbyterian, and by temperament a puritan.
Russell's daughter Katherine noted that his grandmother's joyless faith was "the only form of Christianity my father knew well." This ascetic faith taught that "the life of this world was no more than a gloomy testing ground for future bliss." She concluded, "My father threw this morbid belief out the window."
Dr. Vitz points out that Russell's only other parent figures were a string of nannies to whom he often grew quite attached. When one of the nannies left, the eleven-year-old Bertrand was "inconsolable." He soon discovered that the way out of his sadness was to retreat into the world of books.
After his early years of lost loves and later years of solitary living at home with tutors, Russell described himself in this way: "My most profound feelings have remained always solitary and have found in human things no companionship . . . . The sea, the stars, the night wind in waste places, mean more to me than even the human beings I love best, and I am conscious that human affection is to me at bottom an attempt to escape from the vain search for God."
Another famous atheist was David Hume. He was born into a prominent and affluent family. He seems to have been on good terms with his mother as well as his brother and sister. He was raised as a Scottish Presbyterian but gave up his faith and devoted most of his writing to the topic of religion.
Like the other atheists we have discussed, David Hume fits the pattern. His father died when he was two years old. Biographies of his life mention no relatives or family friends who could serve as father-figures. And David Hume is known as a man who had no religious beliefs and spent his life raising skeptical arguments against religion in any form.
Both Russell and Hume demonstrate the relationship between our attitudes toward our earthly father and our heavenly Father. In each case, there is a psychological component to their commitment to atheism.
Sartre, Voltaire, and Feuerbach
Jean-Paul Sartre was one of the most famous atheists of the last century. His father died when he was fifteen months old. He and his mother lived with his maternal grandparents as his mother cultivated a very intimate relationship with him. She concentrated her emotional energy on her son until she remarried when Sartre was twelve. This idyllic and Oedipal involvement came to an end, and Sartre strongly rejected his stepfather.
In those formative years, Sartre's real father died, his grandfather was cool and distant, and his stepfather took his beloved mother away from him. The adolescent Sartre concluded to himself, "You know what? God doesn't exist." Commentators note that Sartre obsessed with fatherhood all his life and never got over his fatherlessness. Dr. Vitz concludes that "his father's absence was such a painful reality that Jean-Paul spent a lifetime trying to deny the loss and build a philosophy in which the absence of a father and of God is the very starting place for the good or authentic life."
Another philosopher during the French Enlightenment disliked his father so much that he changed his name from Arouet to Voltaire. The two fought constantly. At one point Voltaire's father was so angry with his son for his interest in the world of letters rather than taking up a career in law that he "authorized having his son sent to prison or into exile in the West Indies." Voltaire was not a true atheist, but rather a deist who believed in an impersonal God. He was a strident critic of religion, especially Christianity with its understanding of a personal God.
Ludwig Feuerbach was a prominent German atheist who was born into a distinguished and gifted German family. His father was a prominent jurist who was difficult and undiplomatic with colleagues and family. The dramatic event in young Ludwig's life must have been his father's affair with the wife of one his father's friends. They lived together openly in another town, and she bore him a son. The affair began when Feuerbach was nine and lasted for nine years. His father publicly rejected his family, and years later Feuerbach rejected Christianity. One famous critic of religion said that Feuerbach was so hostile to Christianity that he would have been called the Antichrist if the world had ended then.
Each of these men once again illustrates the relationship between atheism and their fathers.
Burke and Wilberforce
British statesman Edmund Burke is considered by many as the founder of modern conservative political thought. He was partly raised by his grandfather and three affectionate uncles. He later wrote of his Uncle Garret, that he was "one of the very best men, I believe that ever lived, of the clearest integrity, the most genuine principles of religion and virtue."
His writings are in direct opposition to the radical principles of the French Revolution. One of his major criticisms of the French Revolution was its hostility to religion: "We are not converts of Rousseau; we are not the disciples of Voltaire; Helevetius has made no progress amongst us. Atheists are not our preachers." For Burke, God and religion were important pillars of a just and civil society.
William Wilberforce was an English statesman and abolitionist. His father died when he was nine years old, and he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle. He was extremely close to his uncle and to John Newton who was a frequent visitor to their home. Newton was a former slave trader who converted to Christ and wrote the famous hymn "Amazing Grace." Wilberforce first heard of the evils of slavery from Newton's stories and sermons, "even reverencing him as a parent when [he] was a child." Wilberforce was an evangelical Christian who went on to serve in parliament and was instrumental in abolishing the British slave trade.
As mentioned earlier, Blaise Pascal was a famous mathematician and religious writer. Pascal's father was a wealthy judge and also an able mathematician, known as a good man with religious convictions. Pascal's mother died when he was three, so his father gave up his law practice and home-schooled Blaise and his sisters. Pascal went on to powerfully present a Christian perspective at a time when there was considerable skepticism about religion in France.
I believe Paul Vitz provides an important look at atheists and theists in his book Faith of the Fatherless. The prominent atheists of the last few centuries all had defective relationships with their fathers while the theists enjoyed a strong, loving relationship with a father or a father substitute. This might be something to compassionately consider the next time you witness to an atheist.

complete satisfaction

This is a note I wrote for my friend Cory after I admitted to him that women are in fact inherently evil ...( yeah right..) This is dedicated to all those poor male souls that have been torn to pieces by women. (rolling eyes..)
complete satisfaction
Spiders have always provoked curiosity and fear for many. They are proudly displayed on Halloween and have a tendency to foreshadow the climax of horror films. They live in dark places and are known for their messy webs, big round eyes, and long legs. From their spinners they secrete a sticky substance called silk from which they create their webs. Their alluring webs attract the spider's prey quickly. After the spiders have trapped their prey they proceed to clasp their victims with their appendages, then they use their sharp fangs to inject poison into them. The spider's venom contains enzymes which have the power to not only paralyze their prey, but also to dissolve them (Nieuwenhuys). Before the spider's victim is completely lifeless, the spider finally sucks the prey's blood leaving them dry and dead.I am a woman. I think that men have a greater capacity to hold power, but that a woman has the ability to destroy a man in a way which they could never destroy us. Of course there are times when men carelessly break a woman's heart, but even then it seems she is able to bring herself back together. On the other hand, women are completely different when it comes to men. Women can easily detect a man's weakness and know where to attack. Women are always on the watch and we are constantly waiting for the perfect time to strike our next victim. Women may appear to be weak and vulnerable but this is just an act we put on to make men feel secure. We put up fronts to fit the ideal mold men have naively created in order to mess with their minds. We long to destroy and dominate without mercy. Women, like spiders, provoke both curiosity and fear. There is something captivating about our gender that mesmerizes men. We use our features (such as our long legs) to seduce men into our lives. We provocatively entice men with false allusions of beauty and empty kisses. We create our webs of allurement with silky soft compliments which we know will quickly entangle our prey. After trapping men with our webs, we "whip" them to whatever we want them to be. At first the man may struggle; he might question what is going on and pitifully attempt to escape only to find that there is no way out. Our "love" is sticky and leaves no room for the innate freedom men so fervently desire. The victim has been defeated and is quickly drawing near to his end. He is the lamb approaching the slaughter. When we get our prey where we want him, we strike with words and verbally poison him. A woman's venom not only paralyzes her man for the moment, but will completely dissolve every shred of dignity he has. Before the woman is finished, she will perform the pinnacle of her destruction- she will suck him dry. The victim's blood is the most vital part of the predator's feast. The victim's blood runs through his heart and sustains his very life. For the woman to completely dominate him it is crucial that she does not leave a drop. The woman's thirst will not be quenched until every ounce of his life has been devoured. When the victim, a mere hollow shell of what vaguely resembles a man is left, only then will she then be finished. After her successful win, the woman will return to her web. Her game will continue- the vicious cycle of love will continue.Perhaps there is a reason why so many fearless young men dread the sight of petite, helpless little spiders. Maybe there is a correlation between it and the creatures they are so helplessly attracted to. Both female and spider entice only to annihilate and in the end are both completely satisfied.

lyndseys wise comment:
Not that I completely agree that I am a blood thirsty spider when it comes to men, but why do you think women feed upon men in this manner? The only time I get the urge to destroy a man is when I have been hurt by him. I do not believe that women are born this way. Only after repeated failures, either personally or from a third party perspective, do the female gender long to hurt the male gender. We begin to see the whole cycle of love as a means to give the man what we think he ultimately deserves. Maybe by men often being so careless with the feelings of women, they are beginnning to flip the scale. Instead of women being scared of getting hurt, it is the men who are terrified of having the life sucked out of them. As a result, we are creating men who do not act like men. Women then see that weakness in them and take advantage of it. What it comes down to is manipulation. Women are the best manipulators. Our skills surpass that of most men. We do it and do not even notice. We use it, not only to get what we want, but also to secretley gain the upper hand. It has become a means to protect yourself, to guard your heart. Men tend to try to control things with little lies, while on the other hand, women manipulate everything.

"Sweet beloved, so it is with us: neither you without me, nor me without you." - Marie de France

And a thought and a memory. A relapse of a time that runs in circles in your mind with some subtle purpose not yet define. And this is what it means to be. This is your existence.

What inspiration do you protect?
That which drives is that which destructs.

But to numb the desire?
Isolate and indulge.
And away and away you fade into your world.
Why fall unopened?
And there it is. and there you are.
Face to face with question.
What is it that whispers in your ear?
Oh obsession my muse
How I have guarded you.
But will it last?
the thirst of the unquenched





But to give up the quest?
To end it all.

wasted time

"What good with it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Matthew 16:26

Last weekend my parents had some missionaries over for lunch who my mother has been friends with for many years. They talked about the trials they have been facing in Europe and North Africa and how much they needed prayer from the churches here. But what I found interesting was a comment the wife had made. She talked about how they had gone to church that morning and found it to be a weird experience. She said that it was funny how church seemed to be so much of a social event that only happened for about an hour then ended. "You know" she commented "church is suppose to be a lifestyle." Now it's not like I hadnt heard this before, but coming from someone who it really was a lifestyle for it meant a lot. Being a christian for them is about sacrificing their wants and desires daily. To suffer is really to love. I dont even know how to suffer. All I have done for the last two weeks is nothing but waste my life. Its so hard to make that jump, to truly give up everything, when you already feel like you are serving. But its still not enough. It doesnt fulfill. Its like I am still holding on but oh.. how I want to let go.

"It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from." - C.S. Lewis

I woke up this morning not in the highest spirits so i decided to take a trip to the mall and buy some Christmas presents. I walked into Hollister and as I reached over a table to grab a shirt my eyes met with a chubby junior high girl. The girl looked at me as if I were a goddess- like I was what she had for years aspired to be... a thin college girl. I graciously smiled back and walked out of the store.
How sad is our society. I wish that I could have told the little girl that her aspirations were empty. That her body would either never be beautiful enough causing people to reject her..or if she was beautiful people would only use her. I wanted to tell her that the people deemed "beautiful" in her eyes in reality are cold and cruel. That vanity would destroy her mind then her body physically then finally her soul. How sad it is that so many precious and pure girls will be sucked down such a destructive path which will promise them everything except for what they will truly gain leaving them only broken, empty, and dirty.

"He himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times..." Acts 17:20
The final day of my philosophy class everyone sat anxious in their seats ready to go. It was the day everyone had been waiting for. Topic for the day : The meaning of life. The whole semester my class had gone through every philosopical topic you could imagine while being guided by a brilliant atheist who had systematically answered every question pertaining to every topic. This secular point of view had completely torn down all "religious" answers which were merely a "crutch" to our ability to truly think. But now for the icing on the cake- could we "reason" with the ulitimate question? Could we truly create meaning? We started off with discussing that maybe the "point" was to simply be happy- to avoid everything that may cause pain and stick with doing that which is "safe." But isnt happiness momentary? That would not do we concluded. There most be another answer. Next we discussed nihilism- maybe we should not really believe in anything and accept that there is no meaning..no purpose. My professor paused. "Maybe you can just accept that life is a bitch but most people cant because most people feel that something greater transcends mankind giving us a longing for something more."
At that was it. That was the end of the class. What a joke.
One of the biggest problems people have with theism is accepting that God allows suffering and evil to exist. But what if we could turn the tables and reply that the answer is actually in the question?
What if suffering creates meaning? When someone hurts they question the purpose in it. But what if the purpose is so that person is given a broader view of the world and brings them closer to God? Suffering gives us depth.

"The fate he had been marked for he had met with vengance- he had emptied the cup to the lees; he had been the man of his time, the man, to whom nothing on earth was to have happened. That was the rare stroke- that was his visitation. It was the truth, vivid and monstrous, that all the while he had waited the wait itself his portion.
The escape would have been to love her; then he would have lived. It had sprung as he didn't guess; it had sprung as she hopelessly turned from him, and the mark, by the time he left her, had fallen where it was to fall. He had justified his fear and achieved his fate; he had failed...a moan now rose to his lips as he remembered she had prayed he mightn't know. This horror of waking- this was knowledge, knowledge under the breath of which the very tears in his eyes seemed to freeze. Through them, none the less, he tried to fix it and hold it; he kept it there before him so that he might feel the pain. That at least, belated and bitter, had something of the taste of life. But the bitterness suddenly sickened him, and it was as if, horribly, he saw, in the truth, in the cruelty of his image, what had been appointed and done." - Henry James

It is the duty of the human understanding to understand that there are things which it cannot understand, and what those things are. Human understanding has vulgarly occupied itself with nothing but understanding, but if it would only take the trouble to understand itself at the same time it would simply have to posit the paradox.- soren kierkegaard

Today in my philosophy class we were discussing Nietzsche's master/slave morality. Basically, he believed that most people are losers- most people trick themselves into believing they are free when in fact they are blindly buying into other peoples ideologies in which they are enslaved by. I find it ironic though that in Nietzche's attempt to provoke individualism, he in the end created his own followers. I asked my T.A. "isnt it ironic that so many people devoutly follow Nietzsche's teaching- conforming to his 'individualistic ideologies" - he laughed.
A boy sitting behind me declared that I was the class "spokesman."
Just something I was pondering.
ps. I think that Nietzsche was a miserable man, and in the "godless" world he paints it is so evident how corrupt man is without God.

the grand weaver

While reading the grand weaver by ravi zacharias I found this story and really liked it.

In September 1985, Readers Digest ran a story titled "Letter in the Wallet," Written by Arnold Fine. Fine tells how one bitterly cold day he stumbled upon a wallet on the street. It had just three dollars in it and a crumpled-up letter that obviously had been carried around for many years. The letter was dated sixty years earlier and began, "Dear Michael." The beautifully 's written, sadly worded letter ended a romance because of a parents demands. The last line promised, "I will always love you, Michael," and was signed, "Yours, Hannah."
Fine decided to try to track down the owner of the wallet. Using Hannah's address, still legible on the letter, he finally retrieved a telephone number. But when he called it, he was disappointed to learn that Hannah and her family had long ago moved out of the house. The person on the other end of the line, however, knew the name of the nursing home to which Hannah's mother had gone. So Fine called the nursing home and learned that Hannah's mother was no longer living. When he told them what he was trying to do, however, they gave him the address and telephone number they had one file for Hannah. He called the number and found out that Hannah herself now lived in a nursing home. Soon he was able to confirm that,yes, Hannah was a resident there. As soon as he could, Fine decided to visit the nursing home and try to talk with Hannah.
The director met him at the door and told him that Hannah was watching television on the third floor. An escort quickly took Fine there and then left. Fine introduced himself to Hannah and explained how he had found the letter in a wallet. He showed her the letter and asked if she was the one who had written it.
"Yes," Hannah replied, "I sent this letter to Michael because I was only 16 and my mother wouldnt let us see each other anymore. He was very handsome, you know, like Sean Connery." Fine could see both twinkle in her eye and the joy on her face that spoke of her love for Michael. "Yes, Michael Goldstein was his name. If your find him, tell him that I think of him often and never did marry anyone. No one ever matched up to him," she declared, discreetly brushing tears from her eyes. Fine thanked her for her time and left.
As Mr. Fine was leaving the home, the security guard at the door asked him about his visit. "There's a Mike Goldstein who lives here on the eighth floor." Fine turned around and went back inside, this time to the eighth floor, where he asked for Michael Goldstein. When directed to an elderly gentleman, he asked the man, "Have you lost your wallet?"
"Oh, yes, I lost it when I was out for a walk the other day," Michael answered.
Fine handed him the wallet and asked if it was his. Michael was delighted to see it again and, full of gratitude to the finder, proceeded to thank him for returning it when Fine interrupted him.
"I have something to tell you," Fine admitted. "I read the letter in your wallet."
Caught off guard, Michael paused for a moment and then asked, "You read the letter?"
"Yes, sir, and I have further news for you, "Fine continued. "I think I know where Hannah is." Michael grew pale. "You know where she is? How is she?"
"She's fine, and just as pretty as when you knew her."
"Could you tell me where she is? I would love to call her. You know, when that letter came to me, my life ended. I have never gotten married. I never stopped loving her."
"Come with me," said Fine. He took Michael by the elbow and led him to the elevator and down to the third floor. By this time, the director of the building had rejoined them. They came to Hannah's room.
"Hannah," the director whispered, gesturing toward Michael, "Do you know this man?"
She adjusted her glasses and looked at the man as she searched her memory bank. Then with a choked voice, Michael spoke up. "Hannah, its Michael." She stood, as he walked over to her. They embraced and held on to each other for as long as they could stay steady on their feet. They sat down, holding hands, and between their tears they filled in the story of long years that had passed. Feeling as though they had intruded on a sacred moment, Mr. Fine and the director slowly slipped away to leave the two alone to enjoy their reunion.
Three weeks later, Arnold Fine received an invitation to attend the wedding of Hannah, 76, and Michael, 78. Fine closes his story by saying, "How good the work of the Lord is."
"Such a touching story can make one believe that it had to have been made in heaven. But think about it. Made in heaven it could be; the work of a sovereign God leaves all of us overwhelmed at the way God weaves the threads. At the same time, three determined wills all played a role here. A man loved his girl so much that he stayed faithful to her and remained single his whole life because he could not love another woman in this same way. A woman remained true to her first love, thought she had been just a teenager, and she committed to honoring her parents' wishes. A man had resolved to return a wallet because he thought a poignant little letter kept for 60yrs merited a determined search for the owner.
The will is a strong but fragile part of every human life, and it matters in the rich weaving of your tapestry that is in the making."