buenos aires

It is hard to believe I have been in Argentina now for over two weeks. Culture shock seems to blur all the days together. Learning the subway system, buses, and streets is overwhelming. Monday through Thursday mornings I have Spanish class, then I spend the rest of the day either in the Kairos office or with Dr. Padilla. This morning I just finished constructing a paper from which Dr. Padilla will use to write a chapter to an upcoming book. He is also having me read about the political revolutions throughout central america and the response of the church.
Some of the stories I have read are shocking. I wonder how could so much injustice happen so close to home without any international recognition? These stories make me neither sympathetic to the fascist governments nor the marxist revolutionists, but make my heart break for the atrocities committed by both sides in the name of "justice." What a thin line mankind walks when he deems his actions justified at the cost of another's life.
Although working in Bangkok was a life changing experience, my hope is that now I will be able to make a difference in another way. I feel convicted to always serve, but I also think it is important to take a step back and re-evaluate my life to see if I am being effective in the best possible way. I know this is a vague statement, but I hope in due time it will make more sense.

"Enter the New Country"

This is an excerpt from Henri Nouwen's "The Inner Voice of Love." I have found the way Nouwen articulates leaving old spiritual homes as an insightful parallel for leaving a physical home. (Especially when dealing with culture shock!)

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You have an idea of what the new country looks like. Still, you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, its joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.
Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. That requires the death of what has become so precious to you: influence, success,yes, even affection and praise.
Trust is so hard, since you have nothing to fall back on. Still, trust is what is essential.
The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable.
It seems that you keep crossing and recrossing the border. For a while you experience a real joy in the new country. But then you feel afraid and start longing again for all you left behind, so you go back to the old country. To your dismay, you discover that the old country has lost its charm. Risk a few more steps into the new country, trusting that each time you enter it, you will feel more comfortable and be able to stay longer.